Mar
7th
Sun
7th
Ninety-two: Cirque du Soleil
I still can’t believe this is a real thing.
You've heard of Stuff White People Like. Well I'm white and I actually dislike a lot of things. Welcome to a world of stuff I don't like.
Oct
2nd
Fri
2nd
Ninety-one: People who Say “Matoor”
It’s MATURE. MA-CHUR. NOT MATOOR. Do you think that if you pronounce it like that I will think you’re smarter? Because I absolutely do not.
Eighty-nine: Spa Water
Water does not absorb these flavors. Fact. Buy juice. You look less cheap for not just putting FRUIT IN A TUB OF WATER.
Eighty-Eight: People who Sleep in Public
I know you’re not comfortable. I also know that you’re just trying to get attention so that your friends will wake you up and be like “omg u r asleep during lecture lololol u r hyster”. Go to a bed. Or somewhere where I don’t have to watching you pretending to be asleep.
May
4th
Mon
4th
Eighty-six: People Who Still Wear “Vote for Pedro” Shirts
Come on. Do us all a favor and get over Napoleon Dynamite. Shit is definitely not indie/alternative/underground anymore. I would hope that your sense of humor had evolved by now, but I GUESS I WAS WRONG.
Apr
30th
Thu
30th
Eighty-five: People Who Still Say “I Love You Like a Fat Kid Loves Cake.”
Stop quoting this. The moment has passed. Find a new analogy. Also, while I appreciate the comparison being made here, I can name a lot of non-fat-kids who love cake. Just sayin’.
Apr
20th
Mon
20th
Eighty-Four: “Slash” Grades
Here’s what really gets me going: When I get some piece of my work back, and it’s been graded by my lazy-ass teacher and he/she has given me a “slash” grade, like B/B+. It’s either a B or a B+. There is no room for equivocation in the world of academia!!! COME ON, TEACH. MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND.
Apr
14th
Tue
14th
Eighty-Three: 4/20
4/20 is the day when every asshole decides that he/she actually smokes pot all the time and acts like a total douchebag. What’s not to hate?
